It's RANDOM Myn

If you're looking for me....

2010-08-30T14:32:00.001-05:00

I've moved. I finally got Lu on board to do some family blogging. Woohoo! Come follow us- trust me, he's much more interesting than I am!! :)

www.mynandluplustwo.blogspot.com

Birth Story According to Luis

2010-08-12T09:49:00.002-05:00

This wasn't something he just decided to write; he's not that guy. Well, he kind of is. He wrote a few words documenting the day because of it's impact on him, but he didn't set out to write a "birth story". He was falling behind in his online English lit class, so this is extra credit. There are a few cheesy references to a couple of female authors- that's just fluff for his grade, haha. I think you can still get the gist of his emotions and his feelings about the birth. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think.

Every year a few elite climbers grace the top of Mount Everest. These climbers studied the terrain, prepared themselves physically as well as mentally for one of the most challenging feats of their lives. Do most people understand why a person would risk their life just to stand on top of a mountain? No way! Most would fall in line with the mentality that the view is the same whether you get there by helicopter or by foot. Why go through the pain, the cold, and all else that comes along with it? Only the climber and a few people who understand the climber ever truly know.On May 9th, 2010, my wife, Myndee, climbed a mountain of her own. Everest? No, but just as much training and dedication went into the preparation of her accomplishment. My wife gave birth to our second child completely natural and medication free!

As I read some the writings of Grace King and Kate Chopin I started to see my wife as a woman of great determination by wanting to take control of her body and delivery experience. I of course don’t feel that having a birth med free is as monumental as woman’s liberation as a whole, but I do feel that it has its roots in the same fight these historic women were in. As my wife and I discussed having children we were in mindset of having the doctor come to our house to give her drugs. However, as the birth of our children went from fantasy to reality my wife’s planning mode kicked in. During this planning and learning process she discovered that modern women have almost forgotten how to give birth. She realized that many hospitals viewed labor as a medical event, instead of a natural process. She learned that one of the main problems was that a lot women are for the most part uninformed when it comes to childbirth. And it was this uninformed state which caused them to put all of their decisions about the birth of their child into the hands of another. The problem is that often times, the more interventions there are, the more there is a need for interventions. It's difficult in this day and age to go against the grain of the medical professionals.

My wife has been met with such opposition due to the choice to have our children naturally. The strange thing is that she isn’t over the top hippie, she just wanted to experience a natural part of life without drugs, but people acted as if she was going to have the baby in the dessert alone. They made comments that implied that she would be helpless and beg for the doctors to intervene. Just as the girl in Grace King’s Little Convent Girl, my wife took a plunge into what many believe to be the dark unforgiving river of labor. Just as the girl in the story, even though many didn’t agree and it would seem alien to others, she took control of her life.

A year and a half earlier my wife gave birth to our first child. It was a beautiful experience. Our child was healthy, and we were so overjoyed with being parents for the first time. But something was amiss. Even though my wife labored from 6am to 10pm without an epidural, 30 minutes before the birth she couldn’t deal with the pain and received the epidural. She felt defeated. I didn’t understand what the big deal was; to me healthy baby trumped med free baby, and after insensitively stating this to my wife I learned that a healthy baby was her ultimate goal as well, but she wanted to experience birth naturally. She couldn’t believe that she was so close to accomplishing her goal and gave up in the last few minutes. She swore that the next time she would fight it out to the end.

My wife isn’t an adrenaline junky, and she isn’t very competitive, so it was unlike for her to be so gung ho about delivering med free. Although she researched for our first, the sense of failure that lingered afterward kicked her research into warp speed. She read everything she could on the subject, spoke to anyone who had experience, practiced relaxation techniques, and prepared herself mind, body, and soul for the mountain that lay in front of her.

The day had arrived! Contractions started around 9pm on the 8th. Myndee stayed cool and collected through these contractions, and once we realized this was it, she calmly had me call our babysitter and doula and make all the arrangements for us to go to the hospital. At about 2:30am, contractions were in high gear, so she took a bath to help her relax and cope with the pain. When 4am rolled around, we headed to the hospital.

After arriving at the hospital, Myndee stayed focused on her goal. Doctors and nurses were prepped with birthing plans, and she made it clear that no arbitrary procedures were going to be done without first explaining the necessity. There was one nurse who resisted at first, probably because patients don’t normally question them, but soon left us alone.
Contractions began to get much more intense a couple hours after arriving at the hospital. Myndee refused to be on constant monitoring so she was free to labor in the shower, standing, sitting, or however she felt like dealing with the pain. I knew the pain was bad, but I wasn’t sure how far into it we were because she was doing such a good job dealing with the pain. I was shocked when the doctor said that after a few more contractions she would probably be ready to push. I won’t lie, the last few contractions seemed like they were unbearable; she shouted some obscenities and had a few “what did I do?” moments, but one of the last contractions before she pushed she didn’t make a sound. She focused and relaxed through the pain…it was as though she were asleep.
When the pushing started, I did the best I could to be encouraging and keeping her focused on me. But I was also able to step back and take in the entire room as an outsider. I noticed that everyone in there, including her doctor, was calm and completely believed that my wife could have a med free birth. The research was necessary to prepare her, but the support system that she had in place was pivotal in helping her reach her goal.

Finally, with two big pushes our new baby entered the world. At that moment it was clear to me, I had been supportive but wasn’t 100% on board. Now I knew why she did it. I finally understood why she endured a pain that most choose to bypass. She wanted to experience child birth for all it was. And she did.

I am not a sappy father who thinks that all that is natural is beautiful. I don’t recycle much, I eat processed foods, and I don’t care how big my carbon footprint is. But this experience was beautiful almost beyond words. I have a new level of respect for my wife for setting her mind to such a goal and reaching its peak. I respect her for doing all she could to make sure our child was healthy. I thank her for opening my eyes to how beautiful child birth can be when done naturally. It’s difficult as a man to encourage women to remember how to give birth naturally; no I haven’t done it and never could, but I would encourage you to try. Your body and your baby know how to do it.

My wife astonished me with her dedication and drive on May 9th. She wasn’t the first nor the last to do it but that doesn’t change the fact that she tackled one of the most difficult things known to (wo)man.

Dear Gavin

2010-07-13T09:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Gavin,

You, my son, mean the world to me. I am writing you on my blog because sadly, I have yet to get a journal to write you the way I have for your sister. Part of the delay is lack of time- even now, you're sleeping on me. Another reason I haven't written you yet is because I don't know if a boy will want to read love letters from his Mommy. I've decided that's too bad. If you get all embarrassed, then you can stop reading them. I'm hoping that you'll appreciate them one day though.

Your arrival has completed our family (unless God has other plans). You've also turned our world upside down, in a good way. You are the polar opposite of Kadence, so we've had to re-learn how to parent a newborn. One thing you guys have in common is how content you both are. I know some people complain how their kids just cry for no reason, for hours on end, but you rarely do that. You only really cry when you are hungry or overly tired. I'm so thankful to have happy babies.

You are so big!! You are barely 2 months old wearing 3-6 month clothing! Every time I do laundry, I find something else of yours that is too small. I had no idea I would end up with a big baby. You are getting cuter and cuter each day. It's so fun to watch you smile...I finally caught a smile on camera the other day...that was nearly an impossible task.

Gavin, I had no idea how happy I would be to have a son. To be honest, I felt a little scared of having a boy, but God knew I would be able to handle it. I am so thankful for you. You are my little man, my buddy, and I am looking forward to watching you grow and learn. Thank you for being my son.

Love,
Mommy

Harder than I imagined...but wonderful

2010-06-02T12:25:00.002-05:00

I love that our family feels complete now. I love having a SON. I love that Kadence is a big sister. I love our life. However, I am beat. I am only on here because Gavin is asleep and my grandma is over entertaining Kadence so I could have a few minutes to myself. I imagine Gavin will wake up any minute and I'll have to cut this short. We have good days and bad days here. It's hard not to meet your child's needs immediately. Sometimes, I'm changing Kadence when Gavin needs me. Often, I'm feeding Gavin when K needs/wants me. It's hard to find a balance. I think we're managing though.

Kadence has had the worst month of all of us. She's had an ear infection, a virus, she fell and busted her mouth TWICE in the past two weeks. She's also adjusting to being a big sister and having someone new live in our house. I know she'll be fine, but I really feel for her. Aside from right now, every time Gavin is asleep I am engaging her and trying to play with her. It's hard because we're stuck in this little house. It's so hot outside, and I am still too scared to go out alone with 2u2 (that's "two under two"). She's really been a trooper though. I love her so much.

Okay, so this is just a quick compilation of my thoughts. I am going to get back to reality now. :)

I will get a dance at a wedding!!

2010-05-15T05:00:00.002-05:00

Yes, that was one of the first things I thought upon learning that I had a son. At weddings, they typically have a father/daughter and mother/son dance, and I was excited to learn that I would get a dance! During pregnancy, I thought deep down it was a boy, but I really had no idea. Truth be told, I was terrified of having a boy (I still am a little). I am a girl, I have a girl, I know girls, I have girl parts; I don't know the slightest thing about raising a boy. Even though I have a brother, he's older than me, so it isn't like I watched him grow up the way I did my little sister. I mean, boys like bugs- bugs creep me out. Boys like to do tricks on bikes and get hurt- I'm a worry wart. Boys aren't emotional- I'm still crying from the video slideshow of Kadence I just watched. Thankfully, my husband is a boy, and he will help me figure out what to do when Gavin starts acting more like a boy. Actually, he already does. He eats more than Kadence did, and man, he's ravenous. Let's just say I'm having breastfeeding troubles like I never did with K. Also, he poops more, which I can pretty much guarantee is a "boy thing", at least in this house. While I'm a little scared about raising a boy, I am also more excited than I ever thought I could be. I just love looking at my little man. I love seeing Kadence interact with her "baby butter". I love knowing that someday, he's going to fall in love and get married, and I'll get a dance. I love having a SON!!

No more false labor!!! Baby is HERE!!

2010-05-11T08:15:00.004-05:00

Saturday, May 8, 2010. I was miserable. I was so thankful to be pregnant with a healthy baby, please don’t get me wrong. However, I was coming off an extremely stressful work week, two rounds of “false labor”, one which sent me to the hospital. I was just a wreck. I had been trying all the old wives tales to start labor, but my efforts were futile. I know that though. I know babies don’t come until they’re ready, yet when I found myself the most pregnant I’d ever been (Kadence was born at 37w1d, and here I sat at 38w5d), I was willing to try almost anything to get this baby out. My good friend, Ashley, was in the same situation, only about a week farther along than I was. I read online about “labor cookies” and learned they were basically gingerbread cookies with cayenne pepper added to them. I knew Ashley liked gingerbread cookies, so I called her to invite her to have labor cookies with me that evening. We cheated though. The actual “labor cookies” required countless ingredients and time and work. Not happening. So, we got premade gingerbread cookie mix and added the cayenne. They were actually pretty good. A little too spicy for cookies, in my opinion, but Ashley loved them and has decided that’s how gingerbread cookies should be made all the time!

About 45 minutes after eating my third….or fourth cookie, I felt a real contraction. We just laughed it off claiming the labor cookies were working. Then, I had a couple more over the next hour. I knew they were different, but they were so far apart. I figured maybe the spicy cookies were upsetting my stomach or something. Around 11:30pm though, I started to wonder…could this be it? Luis’ “nesting” instinct kicked in and he started cleaning the house and getting everything ready to go. I hung out in denial for a little while longer, blogging and watching “Couples Retreat”. The contractions were definitely real, and coming about 20 minutes apart. I just couldn’t believe I was potentially going into labor. I told Luis we should sleep, just in case. Yea, that didn’t work out. Luis was too excited, and my contractions were coming closer to 10 minutes apart. They stayed that way for a while, I think. I was only occasionally timing them. I was starting to believe this could be it, but I was hesitant to call our sitter or doula, since I had already disrupted their lives for nothing earlier that week. At around 3:45am though, I told Luis, “This is real”. I called the doula, Chrys, and he called our babysitter. I told the doula I planned to head to the hospital around 6:00am. I didn’t know if it were too early, but I was already dilated 3cm and had read one too many “we JUST made it in time” stories. I figured I’d rather be at the hospital too soon than have the baby in the car. I asked Luis to start a bath for me so I could see if that would help with the contractions. Oh my goodness, did it ever! I had a couple contractions in the tub, and while I felt them of course, they were so much more bearable than the ones I had been having. It was so nice and relaxing to just sit there, too. After about 30 minutes, I was ready to get out though. From the time it took me to get out of the tub and towel off (less than 10 minutes), I had three contractions. Thankfully, our babysitter had arrived because I told Luis we were leaving now. We get down the street and I had him turn around because I forgot my makeup bag. Yup, I’m vain.

We arrived at the hospital just after 5am; they checked me in, and Chrys and her assistant, Stephanie, met us there. They did a quick exam, and I found out I was 5cm and they were getting me a room!! Even though I knew it was real, I still imagined them saying, “Nope, no change, honey...go home”. The contractions started to intensify, but I was able to walk/breathe through them. I wanted to be in the tub again, but Chrys didn’t have any available, and our hospital doesn’t have birth tubs. They did have a shower, so I figured I’d try that. It was nice, but I wasn’t really comfortable sitting or standing through contractions anymore. Though I’ve heard and read that laboring in the bed is the most difficult, that’s the only place I wanted to be. I was sitting up in bed, and for each contraction, I would breathe loudly and slowly, either looking down or at Luis, and the doulas would rub my back or feet or hands. Everyone was encouraging me saying I can do this. I felt confident that I could. The contractions hurt like hell, but they were so different than the ones I had with Kadence. Normal contractions feel like you’re going up a mountain. There’s a beginning, a peak, and a downward slope. Pitocin contractions are more like slamming into a brick wall. The on call doctor checked me again at 7:30, I was 8cm! I couldn’t believe things were moving so fast. She alerted my doctor, who just got back in town that morning, thank God, and she was on her way. I was having really rough contractions, and Luis would just remind me that I was doing great and could do it, and Chrys was constantly reminding me to relax my shoulders, which helped so much. Your first instinct is to fight the contractions, and that makes them so much worse. It still hurts like crazy, but when you relax and embrace the pain, it’s more manageable.

The next hour or so was the worst. Transition. Yea, I hate that word now. I started being nearly unable to “embrace” the contractions. See that sentence above about relaxing and not fighting them, telling me that during transition would make me punch someone. I was squeezing Stephanie’s hand and pushing against the bed rail or Luis’ chest for each contraction, screaming things like, “This fucking hurts!!!” and “Why did I DO this?” I could not help but tense up, even though I knew it was the worst thing to do. Though, for one of these contractions, I was able to stay totally relaxed. I didn’t even open my eyes. It still hurt like a bitch, but it was more bearable than the ones I kind of fought. I imagined that’s how the hypnobirthing mom’s are throughout labor, and momentarily regretted not paying more attention to that book. At 8:30, my doctor arrives to check me out and I’m still 8cm. She says if she breaks my water, things should get moving pretty quickly. I agreed. Oh my God, it felt soooooooooooooooo good. I don’t know how to explain it, but the release of my water bag was relaxing in some way. Until the next contraction, that is. More screaming and cursing ensue. I’m feeling intense pressure during each contraction, almost like I want to push. I say this, loudly, over and over again…”I feel pressure!!! I want to push! GET MY DOCTOR!!” They have my doctor come back in, and she watches me through a few contractions. She said I was moving the baby down but not quite ready to push. After about 4 or 5 horrific contractions, she checks me again. I’m ready to go! On the next contraction, I push with everything I have. I scream SO loud. Thank God, I was the only one laboring at that time so I didn’t scare other moms. I think with the second push, the head was out…but then I had to wait. They had to remove the cord from around his neck. I cannot describe how weird it feels to have a person’s head sticking out of you. It was only a matter of seconds and I got to push again. I actually felt a shoulder come out, and that hurt so badly. Then, baby was here. On my 30th birthday and Mother’s Day, at 9:03am, just 33 minutes after the doc broke my water, my SON, Gavin Thomas entered the world weighing 7lbs9oz. I want to say “I immediately forgot about all the pain”, but that so wasn’t true. I was distracted looking at the beautiful baby, but I looked up to Luis and said, “Damn, that hurt.” After not being able to go completely med free with Kadence and having regrets, now that I had done it, it truly didn’t matter. I was only concerned with the fact that Gavin was here and healthy. And since I don’t exactly know how to wrap up this story, how about closing with a picture or two:

4:47am

2010-05-09T04:46:00.000-05:00

and we're on our way to the hospital!! I'm prettttttttttttttty sure this is it!!

I don't want to be the girl who cried labor, but...

2010-05-09T02:09:00.004-05:00

Either this is it or I'm cuh-razy. Since around 8:30pm, after my also very pregnant friend Ashley and I downed couple labor cookies I noticed a painful contraction...more painful than the ones in my previous entries. We laughed it off and joked about the labor cookies working. I had maybe 2 more over the next hour. I definitely noticed the severity of them, but they were very spaced out. Through the night (it's 2:15am now), I've had stronger ones, and I've began to lose my mucus plug (gross, I know). They are still sporadic and far apart, except the last two; those were only 10 minutes apart. I am so hesitant to say that this could be early labor, but these contractions are not messing around. I mean, I feel stupid thinking the other ones during my "false labors" were painful; these contractions kick those contractions asses!!

So, I know I should sleep, but I'm too excited/terrified to do so. Luis is cleaning up the kitchen. He wants to make sure everything is in order for the babysitter. I guess he got the nesting instinct, because I'm blogging and about to go finish watching couples retreat. OMG_---------contractionnnnnnnnn.........I cannot believe how much it hurts. Okay, that's 3 in a row, 10 minutes apart. Holy crap, this really could be it. I will update later.

False labor #2

2010-05-06T13:04:00.002-05:00

Wow, seriously? Does this happen? Just over a week ago, I had false labor. For about 4 hours, I thought for sure I was in real labor, then it just stopped. At least I didn't call the doula and the sitter...that time. Last night, I started having regular contractions around 7:30. I didn't think anything at first, but then they kept coming and were stronger than before. I sat, walked, showered, drank water...nothing stopped them. So, we called the doula and the sitter. Our wonderful sitter had to arrange care for her grandson so she could come over, and I'm not sure if my phone call affected the doula's plans or not. I hope not. Anyway, the sitter arrived at 10:30ish, and we waited around to see if things would pick up..they didn't, but they didn't slow down either. Around 12:30am, I figured I should go get checked. I mean, being already 3cm dilated, who knew if this could turn from maybe to me pushing a baby out in the car in a matter of minutes, haha. I got hooked up to the monitors and they observed me and check me. No new progress, and wouldn't ya know, my contractions started to space out once we got there. Of course they did. I felt like a person who's car was acting up- when you bring it to the mechanic, it's fine. The docs did say I made the right decision, but who knows if they were just trying to make me feel like less of an ass. I mean, this is my second child. I've "been there done that". I should know better!!

Of course, I felt disappointed that we weren't going to meet our new baby last night, but I mostly felt bad for our sitter and doula. Man, when they say every pregnancy is different, "they" are right!! No false labor, no progress, and bam, Kadence is born. This time, false labor, dilating, more false labor, yet no baby. I hope he/she got the memo though- Luis is done with the semester and I'm just wrapping up the busy time at work. Soooooo, feel free to come and meet us any day now!! :)

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

2010-04-29T11:26:00.004-05:00

These are a few of Kadence's favorite things:

Favorite Book: The Foot Book, by Dr. Seuss
Favorite Song: Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas (seriously)
Favorite kiddie song: If you're happy and you know it. She says "Happy..yo-ee-yo"
Favorite Color: Pink. Well, I think it is..everytime we ask her what color something is, the response is always "PINK"
Favorite Toy: That's a toss up betweeen Bahbee (barbie), baby dolls, and tickle me elmo. She also loves her cozy coupe that she can "drive"...she actually now cries to drive OUR cars, lol.
Favorite Show: Dora. Hands down, it's the best thing EVER to her. Close runners up, Spongebob (bum-bon), and Phineas and Ferb.
Favorite activity: Playing outside- goodness, coming inside every evening is torture to her!
Favorite Friends: Jack (gaga) and Mattie (manny)
Favorite Bath Toy: The cup in which she fills with running water and drinks..again and again.
Favorite Veggie: Broccoli- she actually like most all veggies, which we are so grateful for
Favorite Food: Cheese
Favorite Dessert: Ice cream (ikeen)

And, that's all I can think of for now. I hope to remember to compile lists like this once a year or so, in order to keep track of all these changes. :)

Eh, it was nothing

2010-04-27T12:12:00.002-05:00

Maybe false labor, I don't know. Things seemed to pick up and we were toying with the idea that the baby would be making an appearance shortly, but then everything tapered off. Now, I'm sitting at work waiting to start our "End of Year" party, so at least I'm distracted. :)

I'm just thankful it stopped if I wasn't making progress. There's no way I could have walked around the next couple weeks with that pressure on my pelvis and the pain in my lower back. Nope. I would've gotten an epidural to get me through, haha.

Something is going on...

2010-04-27T06:51:00.002-05:00

Is it labor? I'm truly not sure. With K, my first sign of labor was my water breaking, and I never really had contractions before the pitocin. So, I don't know what normal labor feels like. I've been unable to sleep since 5:30am, and I've had some contractions, nothing I even tried to time. What is getting me right now is this back pain- it's horrible. I was just on all fours and that seemed to help some. I want to wake Luis up to rub me, but if this is labor, I want him to be able to sleep before things get going. Who knows though- this could be just normal part of the end of pregnancy. I feel so much pressure on my bladder, my stomach has visibly dropped. Ugh, I wish I knew if this was going to amount to anything today or even tomorrow. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to make it through work today. Here's hoping that something starts or all this stops!! I'll update later.

Toddlereeze

2010-04-26T11:29:00.002-05:00

I've always thought it adorable when toddlers make up words or use their limited reasoning skills to define things. For example, my neice used to call brocolli "trees", and a girl I used to babysit would call Ketchup "red mustard". Never until I had my own child though, did I realize the extent of Toddlereeze. Kadence is a very good communicator. She says tons of words spot on and in context- really, too many to list. I will say that she can use "yea" and "okay" interchangably, as well as Hi, Hello, and Hola. There are a few words that just shock me. I realize now that she makes up her own words or pronounces things incorrectly because she has not yet learned to say the Sssss or Fffff sound. In my head, that would mean instead of cereal, she should say "tereal" or something like that. Nope, she says "Goo-la". She knows what it is, she recognizes it, but to her, it is goo-la. Same goes for shower. I'd guess "bower" or something. Her word: Lapole. It's funny too, the way she says it sounds like a Spanish word or something, but I asked Luis, it's not. She does just leave off the "s" for a few things..like "please" is "pea". It's truly amazing to watch someone learn to speak, and learn to have little conversations even. I'm so blessed to be her mommy- even if she is forcing me to learn a new language! :)

Dear Kadence,

2010-04-07T11:33:00.004-05:00

With your baby brother or sister's arrival coming up soon, I wanted to take a moment to write you. I am so concerned with how you will respond to another person living in our house. I know no matter what, you will love your brother or sister. I know you will be a fantastic role model and source of guidance for him/her growing up. I trust that you guys will be close friends and be able to lean on each other and have fun together. It's the immediate reaction that has me worried. I don't want you to feel put out. I don't want you to feel resentment toward me, Daddy, or the baby. I am praying and planning as best I can, but truth be told, I don't know how things will change. Our goal is to do our best to give you as much attention as we can, and spend one on one time with you when possible. Right now, you sleep in our bed part of the night, and we wouldn't have it any other way. However, you normally sleep between us, but for safety reasons, we have to put the baby between us when he/she is born. Daddy has moved you over to his side between him and the wall, so you can adjust to that before the baby comes. You were fine with it, then I missed you so you spend a few more nights between us. Last night, we put you only by daddy. In the middle of the night, you started crying for me, and you waved to me. It was so touching, yet heartbreaking at the same time. The funny part is you normally want Daddy in the middle of the night if you wake up. Why did you want me all of a sudden, I wonder. Could you have some sense that things are changing? I have no idea.

K, you are the sweetest little girl. You wave and blow kisses to most everyone, you share your toys (most of the time), you are always happy. You even get upset when I go to the doctor and she examines my belly...you don't mind too much when the doctors check you out, but when it's me, you get concerned. It's so sweet! Also, you rock and swing your babies, you pat their backs, you are just so gentle and loving. I hope and pray that carries over quickly to your sibling.

We love you so much. We are happy to be expanding your role in life. Currently, you are a daughter. Soon, you'll be a sister as well. I hope you love being a sister!! Thank you for being our first born child.

Love Always,
Mommy

A year and a half!

2010-04-02T01:10:00.004-05:00

Already? One year and six months have gone by? Tomorrow Kadence will be closer to 2 than she is to 1? This can't be true! I didn't realize how much I was in denial about this until tonight at walmart. I was looking for socks for her, and they only had ugly colored 18-36 month ones, so I thought I could get her the 12-18 month ones, you know, since she's just now 18 months...yea, they looked way too small. It just hit me, she's really not a "baby" anymore. Every day she can communicate more and more with us. She's starting to really protest when she has to do something she doesn't want to or can't do something she does want to do. It's crazy how fast time has gone by. And can I say, I love her more and more with each day that goes by. I mean, I thought I loved her as much as anyone could love anything when she was first born, but really, my love for her just grows and grows. I'm sitting here with happy tears as I read over the title of this post...in my head, I replaced "a year and a half" with 18 years, because I know that's coming. It will be like the blink of an eye, she'll be a beautiful, wise, compassionate, God fearing woman, and if I still know how to use a computer (because, you know, old people don't, hehe), I'll be writing about how I remember when she would "wing" her baby dolls outside in the swing. Eeek...gotta stop the tears, we have family pictures tomorrow!!!

I'm in my 3rd trimester, and I can't sleep

2010-03-13T03:25:00.002-06:00

Not sure if one has anything to do with the other..the title is just sort of what's going on at the moment, haha. It's 3:30am. I've been up since 2. Between Luis snoring, K waking up saying "Gaga" (her friend, Jack), "DaddyBOLLL" (we think that translates to Daddy is at school), I just couldn't stay asleep. I thought I'd get up and play on the interwebz for a bit then fall back asleep. Only now, I'm even more awake. Dang, and I really want to get up early tomorrow and head to chick fil a for breakfast. Our first freestanding one just opened, and I'm craving their yummy breakfast!
Anyway, here I am in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I'm so thankful for this baby. Lately, I've been able to really enjoy being pregnant. I didn't hate it or anything, but before, I just felt indifferent to the pregnancy itself- not the baby. I realized though, unless God changes us, this will be my last time being pregnant. I want to enjoy it more, soak it in, remember it, and thankfully, I've been able to do just that. I'm still a tad obsessed with med free birth, but I have it under control now, hehe. I was looking back at my old posts and came across one that said "I'm almost 3 months along"; it seems like that was yesterday, and now I'm 7 months! If I go to my due date, I have about 9 weeks left. Nine weeks before we meet him or her; Nine weeks before our precious Kadence becomes a big sister; Nine weeks before our family is made complete. On one hand, I cannot wait, but on the other, I feel some fear about this- how will Kadence react? How will this baby change our family? What will we do if we're all sick? Will childcare work out the way we hope and pray this fall? I could go on and on, but I'd rather just continue to trust God in his perfect plan and timing. I know this will all work out and we will be overjoyed to welcome baby brother or sister. :)

Sad post

2010-03-10T20:50:00.004-06:00

About 8 years ago, my step cousin buried her 2 year old daughter who had been hit by a car.
Last fall, a girl on a mommy message board I frequent lost her precious 15 month old son.
On February 8, 2010, a family mourned the loss of their 2 year old little girl, Layla Grace, after a long battle with Neuroblastoma.
Today, I read about an online friend who will likely lose her son, who is still in her womb, just 22 weeks old.

Every day, I am thankful for my family, but when I see and hear of things like this, I hug them a little tighter, I thank God a little longer, and I am reminded how precious this life is and how quickly things can change. My heart is aching for those who lose their children. My prayers are with those who have had to bury their babies. Tonight, I sit hear heavy hearted wondering why. With everything in me, I believe in God. I believe He loves us and has good plans for us. I cannot fathom why he allows these things. When I hear of these tragedies, I want to plug my ears and pretend everything is fine. It's been too much lately though, and I can't ignore it. I cannot ignore the fact that horrible things happen to people every day. I ask God why, but I have no answer. I'm not sure anyone does this side of eternity. I can rest somewhat knowing that these children are safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father, but how much comfort would that actually bring me if it were my child?

I have no point to this. I just needed somewhere to "put" my feelings. Hug your loved ones extra tight today...remember what a gift life is.

A not so quick recap

2010-02-18T12:50:00.003-06:00

Wow...it's been forEVER since I've written. Whenever I feel motivated to write, I can't find the time, and when I have the time, I have nothing to say. So, I'll try to give a quick recap of the past couple months of our lives:

Christmas was great. We didn't do adult gifts, only kids. I like it better that way. Kadence got a lot of great things, but thankfully, not too much considering the size of our house and our new addition due in May.
Speaking of, we had our "big" ultrasound a few days after Christmas and were able to hold out and stay on team green. We also learned that everything looks perfect with this little baby. If you want to take a guess as to when the baby will be born and what the gender is, go to http://www.expectnet.com/ and type in "gameforbaby2" as the game title. The winner will receive a big fat congrats AND bragging rights. :)
New Year's was awesome! Some family came in from Texas, and Kadence loved loved loved the fireworks. I thought for sure they would scare her, but no, she was thrilled to see all the lights in the sky. She even made it all the way to midnight...and then some, haha.
Luis turned 29 on January 11. We met up for dinner with family. We all chipped in and got him an ipod touch. He's nice and cracked out on it now, which is good because he doesn't give me as much crap for being online!
In early Februrary, our little Kadence grew up. She finally stopped taking a bottle. She was down to one a day for quite a while, and one evening, we replaced it with a cup. She didn't care and doesn't miss her bottles. They were just a means to an end for her. She's still taking her pacifier, and judge me all you want, I'm in no rush to take it from her. It's comforting to her, and with the new baby coming, I want her to have a comfort measure for herself. So, I'll likely be that mom with a 2+ year old who still takes a paci. Oh, well. At least she only has it for naps and bedtime.
THE SAINTS WON THE SUPERBOWL!! We taught Kadence to say "Who Dat!", but she says it like a question..."Who da?"...too cute!
We got and spent most all of our tax return already. Normally, we save any extra money we get or pay off bills...not so much this time. We got things we needed: a bed, photography equipment, a toddler bed for Kadence, a bunch of random stuff for her and the new baby, oh yes, and a beautiful new wedding set for Myndee!! Okay, we didn't need all of that, but it's nice to have, and we still were able to save some money. Were we totally responsible? No. Did we have tons of fun? YES!!
I switched to a new OB in the same practice. I liked my other OB, but the more I talked to her about med free, little to no intervention childbirth, the more she seemed to dig her heels in. I'm not sure why, but for some reason, I got the impression that she didn't want me to go without meds...which is very strange considering she gave birth 4 or 5 times without an epidural. Ah, well. My new doctor is a perfect fit for me! I really cannot say enough good things about her.
Just the other day, Kadence had her very first stomach virus. Poor baby. It only lasted about a day, and she was a trooper. Then, it was my turn. Horrible. I think I lost weight from throwing up so much. I actually had to go to the hospital to be treated for dehydration- apparently, that can cause pre-term labor, so it's a good thing I went in. I'm fine now, and thank God, Luis didn't catch it.

And breathe. That's about all for now. I'll try harder to keep up with this. I want to look back on this stuff one day and remember all these things and feelings I share on here. Actually, I think I read somewhere that you can turn your blog into a book...maybe I'll do that.

Case against Santa Claus

2009-12-11T13:52:00.004-06:00

Don't be mad!! I LOVE Santa, love him. I love the idea, the stories, the magic, all of it. However, we're not teaching Kadence about him. I begrudge no one who teaches their child about Santa, and if my personal experiences hadn't gone the way they did, I would most likely have a different outlook on the whole thing. Alas, that is not the case.

We are Christians, and while we love Jesus with all our hearts, we do not believe Christmas is all about Him. As hard as it is for some believer's to grasp, Jesus is not the "reason for the season". Though Christianity mingled it's teachings with Christmas, the holiday is not rooted in religion. Jesus was not born in the winter, and Christmas was a Pagan holiday long before it became Christianized. If you want to celebrate a Biblical holiday in December, you're much better off celebrating Chanukah. It, unlike Christmas, has biblical roots and Jesus himself actually observed the holiday. Though we will still incorporate Jesus' birth into our Christmas traditions, I do not hold them too high, and our faith in Christ has nothing to do with teaching our children about Santa...directly. I do have a slight fear that if we teach our children about Santa while teaching them about Jesus then one day they find out we lied to them about Santa, they will question if we lied to them about Jesus. I guess our belief plays a part in it, but I know many Christians, myself included, who at one time believed in Santa and are not damaged.

Furthermore, we live in a society that is richly prosperous. Even some of our poorest are wealthy according to most of the world. However, in this economy there are quite a few people left having what some would call a "lean" Christmas. How do I reconcile that with my children? How can I explain to them that Santa simply couldn't bring them the new video game system or custom build dollhouse or whatever they put on their list? If he has Elves making toys and things year round, how can we expect them to understand they can't have everything they want? I also worry about the "be good for Santa" mantra. If they are horrible all year long, should I follow through and say they were on Santa's naughty list? And again, if they are good but we can't fulfill their wish list, what do we say? Also, we plan to donate toys to Operation Christmas Child, Toys for Tots, and/or a local organization each year; when we do this, will our kids wonder why Santa doesn't visit the less fortunate?

Though important factors, I can't say for certain these in themselves would cause me to feel the way I do and teach our children what I plan to teach them.

My main reason for not teaching our children about Santa is this:

Christmas Eve, 1985. Each year, "Santa" would come visit my step-grandmother's house. I remember how wonderful it was to see him in person and get presents, though they were significantly less appealing gifts than the non-step grandkid's gifts, haha. Just before Santa arrived that chilly Christmas Eve, my brother, who was 10, callously informed me that not only was the guy I thought to be Santa my uncle, but that Santa didn't even exist! Crushed, I turned to my dad to expose my brother's lies, but sadly, he confirmed them. That was so painful for me to learn, and of all my childhood Christmas memories, this is the most vivid one. I cannot bear to think about setting my children up for such disappointment. Though, again, I understand not everyone has such a bitter memory of finding out Santa wasn't in fact real. I hope Santa memories for everyone who believed in him and their children are nothing but fond ones!

As for what we will teach our children- the truth. We will teach them the story of St. Nicholas, and how because of his faith, he devoted his life to helping others. We will explain (in age appropriate terms, of course) how his life was such an inspiration that his work is still celebrated at Christmas time..a la Santa Claus. Though he isn't a live person who lives at the North Pole and "sees you when you're sleeping...", it's okay to celebrate Santa knowing who he is based upon.

My one concern- my kids ruining it for others. I'm hoping that since we won't teach that "Santa isn't real", they won't go around saying such things. I will not, however, feel too guilty if they happen to tell their friends the truth. I can't. I mean, it's a conviction I have and I shouldn't be expected not to teach them things for fear of them telling others. It will never be my intent, though, because I know how devastated I was when I found out the truth. I certainly don't want my children to be responsible for doing that to someone else.

I hope that all makes sense, and that you won't take offense if you teach your child something different. This certainly falls into the "to each his own" category, in my humble opinion. :)

Obsession

2009-11-30T10:40:00.003-06:00

I'm the type of person who gets obsessed with things- not like stalker obsessed or anything. I just get an idea or event in my head and plan it, talk about it, think about it. I spent years planning my wedding (started planning before I was engaged!). I try not to drive everyone crazy, but I'm sure I do, especially Luis. He never wants to hear anything about vaccine ingredients and alternative schedules again! My newest obsession- GIVING BIRTH! With Kadence, things went well, but I really wanted to go entirely med free. The more I've learned, the more I see that some things took place at the hospital which could've been avoided. I sometimes catch myself wondering, "what if...". I got the epidural about 30 minutes before Kadence was born, so it didn't even kick in. I still felt everything, so in a way, I experienced what I wanted to experience. Now that I've had an epidural, I never ever want one again. First off, right after we got it tons of nurses and maybe doctors rushed in our room and turned me on my side. Apparently, they lost her heartbeat on the monitors. For a few scary seconds, we thought we killed our baby. I never want to feel that again. Secondly, for seven months after she was born, I had lower back pain every time I'd bend over. It was in the exact spot where I got the Epi. It wasn't terribly painful but quite annoying. I mean, I traded 30 minutes of rest that I didn't get for 7 months of annoyance- totally not worth it! So, this time, I'm determined to not get an epidural. I feel much more prepared, knowing what to expect and really believing that when you think you can't do it anymore, you're almost done! This time though, I'm obsessed. I've already made a birth plan and a second, more consice birth plan to bring to the hospital. I think about every possible scenario, and I'm terrified of having a c-section (though I will do whatever it takes to have a healthy baby). I don't know why, I just feel like I have to have a med free, vaginal delivery. I think because part of me feels like I "failed" last time, which I know isn't true. I spend countless hours praying for everything to go smoothly. I've researched what will indicate and automatic c-section such as: breech baby, placenta previa, etc. I even want to know what doctors in this area will deliver a breech baby because I will consider switching.

The rational side of my brain knows that this is silly. I know that more than anything, I want to have a healthy baby, healthy mom. I know I didn't fail by getting an epidural, and if something happens and I need one this time, I know it will be okay. All that makes sense. Yet for some reason, I cannot get over this obsession. I figured writing it out may help. I don't bother other people in my life about this, and I think Luis has heard all he can handle...at least until I'm in my 3rd trimester, haha.

Walking and Talking and Teething, Oh my!

2009-11-02T16:04:00.003-06:00

My baby is quickly approaching full on toddler-hood. I love it! She says lots of words now, including but not limited to, Mama, Dada, HI, No, Jack (a friend), Lily (a stuffed animal friend), Cat, Bye bye, Map, and Backpack- thank you Dora the Explorer. She also laughs when others around her laugh. It's so cute! I feel like she learns something new every second! I hate that I'm typing this from work missing out. This weekend, she took her very first steps! She took two steps on two separate occasions. Thankfully, I got to see her first official step, but Luis called today to tell me she took 10 steps in a row this afternoon!! Before we know it, we're going to be chasing her around the house. Another milestone she's finally reaching- teething. Because of her hypothyroidism, she basically stopped growing for about two months, that includes her teeth. So, now, at 13 months, she has the tiniest sliver of a tooth coming in. Poor baby, it looks like she's going to get a lot of teeth over the next few weeks. Her gums are swollen and white. While it may be tough on her, on all of us, if she gets them all in a short period of time it will be over faster.

I am so proud of my baby. It's hard to believe that just a year ago, she was so tiny and couldn't do a thing for herself. It's been amazing, truly a blessing from God to be able to watch her grow.

Big Sister

2009-10-26T13:33:00.002-05:00

My baby is going to be a big sister!! In May of 2010, we will welcome our newest, and most likely final addition to our family. To quote Jesse Spano, I'm so excited...I'm so excited...I'm so...scared!! If you get that, you're old like me. :)

We found out in September, but due to previous losses, we wanted to make sure all was well before we shared the news. However, after our first doctor's appointment, all wasn't well. According to my calculations, I should've been 6 weeks, 4 days, but according to the ultrasound, I was only 5 weeks. If you've had kids, you know that over a week is a big difference. Due to that, and the fact that I've already had miscarriages, I figured this was another one. I was so sad. Begrudgingly, I continued to take my prenatal vitamins and act as though I was pregnant (no drinking or drugs, haha). After the longest week and a half of my life, I had my follow up ultrasound. I couldn't even look at the screen. I knew she'd say, "I'm sorry...", but thank God, I was wrong. She said the most beautiful words I'd ever heard- "There's the heartbeat!" I couldn't believe it. Tears of joy filled my eyes and it hit me- I'm going to be a mother of TWO. How am I going to do this?! Thankfully, my husband Luis, is fantastic. He's such a great dad now, and I know we're going to be able to handle being a family of four. :)

This time is very different- I'm hardly sick. Actually, I've only thrown up three times; with Kadence, it was more like three times a day. I don't know if it's because we waited so long to announce it or what, but it's going by much faster as well. I'm already almost 3 months along. Unfortunately, I don't feel as excited or attached as I should just yet- probably just a defense mechanism I've created due to my history. I do love this baby and I can't wait to meet him/her.

I don't want to forget this feeling

2009-10-14T03:05:00.003-05:00

Tonight, as part of a class assignment, we went to a soup kitchen type place to help feed and serve the homeless. It changed my life. I've helped people before to an extent, I like to think of myself as a "good person". But truly, I've never gone so far out of my comfort zone before. I loved it. I loved being able to make a teeny difference in someone's life. I loved knowing that I was helping people whom God created and loves as well. I also felt bad that I don't do things like this regularly. I pray for people, and while I feel that is very important, I often turn a blind eye to the needs of people in my own city. More than feeling good and bad at the same time, I was in awe of the woman who does this regularly. Loretta. She is a southern lady with a tough exterior and a big heart. She daily prepares four meals for the people, instructs the volunteers, then goes to the women's shelter across the way to help them. She does this because of her love and devotion to God and his people. She doesn't get paid, and from what I can tell, hardly gets appreciated. I want my life to be more like hers. Of course, I can't do exactly what she's doing, but I can help. I have gifts and talents that could be of great use there. For instance, I'm pretty pushy (in a good way) when I'm passionate about something, and let me tell you, a fire has been lit. Since the organization runs strictly off donations and volunteers, I'm going to get people to donate things, money, and their time. I'm hoping to really help get these people plenty of meals and volunteers, even possibly a dishwasher so they can save money and stop using paper products. I plan to contact restaurants, local businesses, churches, and even the school I attend to try to encourage other teachers to take their classes to the mission. I know I can do this; I put together a fundraiser for my nephew which was a huge success. If you have any tips or anything though, please let me know. I'm writing this out to remind myself not to let this feeling pass. I don't want to remember this as a one time thing. I want it to be the beginning.

When all isn't "perfect"

2009-09-14T15:59:00.002-05:00

I'm sure many people hear their child described this way, but all too often, people tell me that Kadence is perfect. I feel that way too, of course. She's funny, cute, and a delight to be around. Recently though, we found out she has Hypothyroidism. It's where your thyroid doesn't produce a hormone that helps regulate your metabolism. We found out because the doctors ran tests due to her not gaining weight. They called it "Failure to thrive", which really made me feel awful. While it's something that may be lifelong, it seems relatively easy to treat. One friend who's daughter suffers with the same condition said, "A pill a day, and you'll be okay." If it were me, I'd take the pill and that would be the end of it. It's not me though, it's my baby. I needed to research this disease and all the possible causes and treatment options available. There are a couple, but the treatment she is on seems the most widely accepted course of action. We'll see a specialist next month to determine if we need to make changes. For now, I'm just continuing to research possible causes of hypothyroidism. Also, I'm trying to learn things we can do at home to help her condition...I read that cruciferous vegetables, like broccoli and cauliflower aren't good for someone with hypothyroidism. I still have a lot to learn. It's overwhelming and very hard to accept that my perfect little baby has a problem. I'm thankful to God that it's something treatable, and I pray that He will allow her to grow out of it. I guess I'll ask here too- if any of you guys know anything about hypothyroidism and possible treatments, please let me know. Also, if you have some spare prayers, please pray that she continues to do well with treatment AND that she grows out of it! Thanks. :)

Revisiting weight loss

2009-07-30T15:01:00.002-05:00

I posted my weight on here a while ago, in an attempt to motivate myself to lose. Well, that didn't work, haha. A month or so later, I joined weight watchers. After almost 2 months, with a 2-3 week break in the middle, I am now 8 pounds lighter and 1 (almost 2) pants sizes smaller! I'm chuckling because I'm munching on chocolate cookies as I type. That's the beauty of weight watchers- you don't have to give up everything you love. I could go on and on about how awesome weight watchers is- but they don't pay me, haha. I will say, if you are looking to lose weight, eat healthier while still enjoying cookies now and then, give weight watchers a shot! :)

Things I love

2009-07-13T11:38:00.008-05:00

My friend Natalie wrote a blog about all the things she loved, and I told her I was going to steal her idea...I couldn't make myself I liar!! Here are a few things I love- in no particular order:

Sleeping in
Candles
Jesus
My job
Luis
Kadence
Song lyrics
Dancing with K and Luis to YouTube videos
Vacation days
God's amazing grace
New friends
Sales
Faith Day
Kind strangers
My awesomely crazy family
Getting cards in the mail
Being a mother
Publix Subs
Brownie Batter
Pedicures
Cloth diapers
Baby laughs (not the book...actual babies laughing)
Taking pictures
Lunch dates with Luis and Kadence
Reading blogs
My palm centro
The Nest
Planning (anything...vacations, weddings, parties...I'm a planner)
Rocking Kadence to sleep
Sharing things I love with people I love
Funny YouTube videos
Seeing new places
CS Lewis
Helping others
The Village Church
Getting not spam email
Losing weight
Praying
Laughing (who doesn't love laughing?!)
New car smell
The Soup
Bubble baths
Text messaging
Photoshop
Getting my hair did
Playdates
Dallas, TX
Baking
Travel size stuff- it's so cute
What Kadence has brought to our lives; it's indescribable- there needs to be a word stronger than LOVE for it.

Well, this was fun. You should steal this idea too. It has definitely helped brighten my day!! :)

My baby can READ!

2009-06-20T08:16:00.003-05:00

No, not really. She's only 8 1/2 months! I do have to share all the new things she can do though. In the past month, she has gone from baby to nearly a toddler- it's crazy. In mid May, she finally started rolling over, which eased my mind tremendously. I was beginning to think something was wrong with her, haha. Shortly thereafter, and I mean within days, she began to crawl. I think I figured her out- she didn't roll because there was no purpose. Now, rolling from her back to her belly meant she could get up and go. She wasn't behind, she knew that rolling around would be pointless if she couldn't do anything with that. Things just started to snoball after that. She started pulling up on things; by things, I mean everything. She began to cruise along the sofa and "walk" around her activity table. She's now little miss mobile, but again, only when it suits her. She won't just crawl around...no ma'am. She needs to lock eyes with something she wants, usually something she shouldn't have, like the cord to my cell phone charger, and she's on the go.

Aside from those leaps and bounds that she's grown, she has started doing other things- like clapping. I was at a coffee shop with her and a friend, when all of a sudden, she started clapping. I had no idea this was coming. I used to look up all the developmental milestones, but got lazy. I was shocked. We clap and say "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" to her all the time. She's like a rock star in our house. I just, I don't know, I just didn't expect her to do this yet. It is beyond cute. She even claps in context now- after she picks something up or when someone says "Yaaaaaaaaay". About a week after she started clapping, she did something even more incredible- she waved! She freaking waved! Again, I am floored by these milestones. I had no clue when to expect them, and still don't. She could be months behind for all I know! I am thrilled either way. She likes to show people her tricks too. She'll wave and clap for strangers at the store, and sometimes do it on command, but she's certainly letting me know that she is not my puppet. Now, I don't want to give K too much credit, but I *think* she can blow kisses as well. It doesn't look like she's blowing a kiss. She just kind of opens her mouth, but she makes the "mwah" sound, and she does it after we blow her a kiss. Such a sweet baby genius! :)

Saint Luis

2009-06-15T20:41:00.003-05:00

That's my husband's blog and twitter name. He's taking this online class about the internet, and one of his projects is to get...well, to get interwebz famous; at least moreso than he is now. Soooo, he's taken to blogging, and he's quite funny, and additcted to it. He never understood why I did this, but now he understands. Anyway, it would be a great help to him if you'd stop by his blog from time to time and leave him some comments. You can read about a brother and sister getting married!!

Saint Luis

Oh, and if you have twitter, follow him. Thanks.

I like fluffy butts and I can not lie..

2009-06-10T14:21:00.014-05:00

That’s right. I’m one of those mom’s who cloth diaper their child. I did not set out to cloth diaper, much like I did not set out to have a med-free birth. After reading up on them though, I really wanted to give it a shot. It took me months to convince Luis to even entertain the thought. So, I had plenty of time to research…and let me tell you, I needed it. There are so many kinds of diapers, so many brands, so many different washing instructions. There are so many blogs, websites, stores, villages, etc. devoted to cloth diapering. I began to drown in a sea of fluff- I basically had to learn a new language (AIO, BG, OS). Finally, I sorted through all the mess and found the easiest places to get info. I don’t know if anyone reading this is considering CDing (see, a whole new language), but I’ll share the sites that helped me the most, then I’ll share what I do.

Green mama’s pad: this blog post is Cloth diapering 101- or better yet, remedial cloth (that's for sure what I needed). She really spells everything out for you.

Baby Rabies: a great site; she has a few posts that are brutally honest when it comes to cloth; informative and funny.

Pinstripes and polka dots is a great place to find laundry/detergent info. They also have a ton of information here.

Oh, and Abby's Lane and Sew Crafty Baby has free shipping all the time!

Now, onto what I do. I’m a pretty simple kind of girl. I don’t want things to be too complicated. I love cloth diapering (who else can say they love anything about diapering!!), but I wouldn’t have done it if it were too much work. I started out buying a few pockets and prefolds with covers. I didn’t want to spend too much money, but I liked the convienece of pockets for Luis. To this day he doesn’t use the prefolds..whatevs.

Anyway, I got them and prepped them by boiling the prefolds and washing the pockets. As far as washing, there isn't much to it. Cold wash NO detergent, followed by Hot wash/cold rinse(sometimes warm..no reason, I just like to mix it up) with a 2nd rinse. There are many options for detergent, but I went with simple and cheap. Purex Free and Clear. I also tried out Crunchy Clean, which smells fantastic (seriously..buttercream cupcake detergent!!), but I don’t use it all the time due to the “it’s not as cheap as purex” factor. All diapers then go into the dryer with NO dryer sheets. I’m working on getting Luis to put up a line so I can dry them outside; from what I understand, that’s better for the diapers and of course better the environment.

How do I use them? Like I said, I’m pretty simple. I fold the prefold and lay it in the cover…then, the cover goes on exactly like a disposable. It looks like this:

The pocket diapers are a little different- and easier. I “stuff” them with either an insert or a prefold, and put them in the drawer. When it’s time to use them, they also go on exactly like a disposable. When I’m changing her, all I do is throw the wet diapers into the pail (which is a garbage can with a wet bag lining it). The poopy diapers used to go straight into the pail when she was only getting breast milk, but now that she’s getting some solids (not much though..she hates food!), it’s a little more work. I use a flushable liner in her diapers, and then I use a wipe for whatever is left. Is that the best way? I don’t know, but it’s easier than going rinse it off in the sink/tub/toilet or wherever. And, for now, it works. It’s no grosser than dealing with a disposable. As a matter of fact, I can contend that I dealt with poop much more when she was in disposables because we’d frequently have blowouts. Those are virtually unheard of in the cloth world…you know what else is rare- diaper rash. You know what else…they’re cheaper. I can afford to play around sometimes and buy her “nice” diapers because even if I spend 25.00 on one diaper, it will last me through potty training, and baby number two..well, it will be FREE for him/her. Only, if it’s a boy, he’ll for sure be rocking some pink. ;)

So, there you have it. I don’t think this will convert anyone, but I thought I’d put this out there in case someone was considering it. Oh, and my husband- he’s now 100% on board and recommends CDing to others!! If nothing else, you can’t deny the cute factor of them:

Negotiating skillz..I has them

2009-05-29T11:18:00.002-05:00

Our lovely, horribly loud, 11 year old Honda was ready for a new home...well, we were ready for a new car. We decided we wanted another Honda, so I began to research. I looked at cars.com daily, I checked local dealers, I read up on KBB, Nada, and Edmunds. I found out what year/make/model I wanted and what they were selling for. I also researched the trade in value on it, so I had an idea of what the dealer paid. I also read a million "tips on buying a used car". I felt very prepared. We followed a lot of the tricks- go at the end of the month, don't show too much interest in any particular car- do NOT discuss financing until you reach a deal, etc. Well, the car we wanted was priced at 15,000. We drove it and a couple others, we walked around a lot, and we just made sure the dealer invested time in us- the tips said that would make them more willing to work with you. He offered us a price on the car we weren't very interested in- 3000.00 off the sticker. It was a great deal, but the car had kinda high miles (45k and it was a 2007). So, I asked him what he would give us the other car (the one we really wanted) for- he replied, "Oh, that one has low miles, I could do 13,900, maybe 13,500. So, we just kept delaying and talking amongst ourselves. He then asked me to make an offer, so I pulled out my research that I printed (I guess at this time he could tell we were serious), and figured if they were giving about 11,000 for trade ins on this car, it would be fair to offer 12, 500. He said he'd "check with the manager"..after a few minutes, he came back and said the best he could do was 12,900. I asked him to work that up and see what the total cost would be, with TT&L. Well, it was around 14,300. Still with me? Okay, so I told him we very well might buy the car if he could get it to 14k out the door, and he did! So, the cost of the car when from 15k to 12, 700. That's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. It was easy- I kind of wonder if we could've got it for less. I doubt it; I haven't seen any 2006 Accords with under 30,000 miles for less than 15k sticker, and most of them were more. So, if you followed all this, kudos to you. I hope these tricks and tips helps someone else in the future.

Over it!

2009-05-27T16:26:00.002-05:00

I am eating worse than I ever was before I started "dieting". I don't think restricting myself works. I have eaten more junk the past couple weeks than I have the past month. The only thing I'm good at is limiting my soft drink intake. I'm still working out and losing weight, but it can't be an obsession. Sooo, no more posts about food...unless it's an awesome recipe that I need to share.

In other news, do you like my new layout? Is it hard to read? I chose it because the site where I got the code from had it titled with my name. (even if you don't comment much, I'd really appreciate your thoughts on this)

Because this is NOT a weight loss blog...

2009-05-24T23:23:00.004-05:00

My baby is getting so big. She's reaching milestone after milestone. Today, she showed great problem solving skills- manuevering her body different ways to reach her bottle, then figuring out how to position herself to feed herself! She's also eating some finger foods, but not really liking them very much. I sure hope she doesn't try to take a bottle to college!

It's truly amazing to watch a person grow. We've loved her since she was just two pink lines. Fortunately, we got quite a few ultrasounds during the pregnancy, so we've really been able to watch her grow for her entire existence. With every day, I love her more and more. How couldn't I? Look at this face:

I fell off the wagon...

2009-05-24T23:16:00.002-05:00

and I kept on falling. Maybe I could use a sponsor or something like people who belong to AA have. I started the day with a carnation instant breakfast; not the greatest choice, but not bad. Then, it went downhill- burger king for my second breakfast, cold stone creamery, kastleburgers for dinner, and now, a coke for my late night snack! The good news, I feel sick to my stomach from so much junk and so little healthy food today. That must mean my body is getting used to eating right.

Ah, well...I'll for sure be back on the wagon tomorrow- but, I may not weigh myself this week!! :)

A half pound

2009-05-20T14:45:00.003-05:00

That's how much lighter I am this week. I don't know what I expected to see when I got on the scale, but I'm mildly pleased that it wasn't higher, and I'm motivated to lose even more than that next week. I'll recap my high and low points of the past week now. I worked out 4 times (5 if you count today) since last week. I go to the gym on my lunch hour and use the elliptical. Then, I do some crunches. I'm increasing the intensity of the workout, but I don't feel like I'm really "pushing myself"; I'll have to work on that. I'd like to commit some time at home to working out as well. Luis got me an awesome stand up punching bag for my birthday, and I've yet to use it. I've also been drinking tons of water. So much so that I convinced myself I must be pregnant because I'm peeing so much!! I'm not though. Now, my downfalls- I went to a friend's house and she had a coke sitting on her coffee table. I wanted water, but when she offered me a coke, I just couldn't resist. It was SO yummy. I think the Mormon's are onto something when they classify caffine as a drug. Anyway, I didn't feel too badly about it because it was my only slip up thus far. This next one though, yea, I feel guilty about...good, I won't do it again guilt; not, I made myself throwup over it guilt! I ate a cupcake. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but picture this- a regular sized brownie flavored cake topped with mounds of peanut butter frosting, with reeses pieces mixed in! Now, wipe the drool from your face and see how bad that was for me- a "dieter" to indulge in. I'm sure that cupcake had more calories than I consumed all week! I'm getting past it and inching toward my goal of 125lbs. At this rate, I'll get there in a year...time to step it up!

My goal for this coming week will be to not cheat- at all. I'm allowing myself one 100 calorie snack per day- today it was smartfood popcorn. I can't give in to the shiny red cans, as tempting as they may be. Also, I'd like to work out at least two or three times at home, in addition to the gym.

Here's hoping to see more results next week!

150

2009-05-14T09:48:00.003-05:00

Ugh...that's what the scale said yesterday. I'm not trying to be a size 2, but I'm sick of being a 10/12. Not just a 10/12, but an out of shape one! Yes, I know, I just had a baby; yes, I know some women would like to be a 10, but I'm not one of them!! I'm a small/medium framed person who was a size 0/2 until I was 21. I don't want to look like that again, but I want to feel better about myself. I don't want to cringe when trying on a bathing suit...even though my stretchmarks running half way down my legs will still make me wear one of those cover up wraps, I'd like to look better everywhere else. So, I'm putting this out there for the whole world (yea, because the whole world is reading this!) to help motivate me to lose weight and shape up. I want to do it because I'm a little vain, sure, but I also want to stay healthy and active for my daughter. I want to have energy to play with her when she's older. I don't want to be too tired/lazy to go outside with her. I also don't want to set a bad example for her. Do you know that I get all organic food for her and make it myself, but I don't think twice about scarfing down a big mac and chasing it with a hot fudge sundae. That isn't right. I should care more about what I put in my body. I mean, junk food is good- every once in a while. Thankfully, I've already started making diet changes. I have increased my veggie intake, cut out soft drinks, and today, I passed up the opportunity to have a scrumdiddlyuptious (is that spelled correctly) cupcake from The Kupcake Factory, and let me tell you- that was hard. :)

Anyway, my point is- I'm going to lose weight. My goal is 25 pounds by the end of August, but I will be more than satisfied with losing 20 pounds. Every Wednesday, I'm going to weigh myself at the gym at my work...I will post the weight on here, which will really make me want to lose. I will say this- I'm already 2 pounds lighter than what I was two weeks ago; I really think I can do this. If you have any diet/exercise tips to share, please do so. OR, if you want to write motivating comments or something, that would be appreciated as well. Have a great day!!

Wanna hear what happened to me yesterday?

2009-05-02T10:13:00.006-05:00

Okay, I had to work late, which was fine. When I got in my car though, my arm started to hurt- just below my elbow, near the crease in my arm. It started to get red and swollen, and the pain felt like the worst part of a shot- you know, right when the medicine goes in, but it didn't stop..it just hurt and hurt and got more swollen..then I had what looked like little blisters inside of the big red swollen section; did I mention in HURT? I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I was looking at my other arm waiting to see if anything was going to pop up over there. Driving was very difficult. I concluded that I would go to urgent care because the ER is too expensive and takes 583746 hours to get treated. When I was halfway to the urgent care near my house, the pain started to diminish- a little, so I decided to go home first and check with my doctor...Dr. Google. Turns out, I was stung by a catterpillar...not just any caterpillar, a ninja caterpillar. I didn't even see it. I'm sure it still would've hurt like crazy, but I wouldn't have gone into panic mode thinking I had the swine flu or something worse. After a trip to the pharmacy for benadryl and cortisone, I was set. I got all delirious and passed out by 8:30 from the benadryl (yes, I'm a lightweight). Today, it just feels like a really bad bruise. Have you ever been stung by a caterpillar? Did you know that some of them actually sting?
In honor of my ninja caterpillar, one of my buddies on thenest.com made this awesome drawing that had me laughing so hard in my benadryl stupor last night.

Horrible Blogger

2009-04-21T15:53:00.002-05:00

I feel like a blog-school drop out or something. I LOVE to write. I kept a journal for 15 years (Gosh, I'm old), I write letters to Kadence, and I used to write little story type things about my life. But when it comes to blogging...I, well, I suck. I never think of anything to say. There's something that's been bugging me that I'd love to complain about on here, but I can't for fear of who may read this. Maybe that's what is hindering me so much. Maybe I should just pretend no one else will read this...there's an idea. If you have some sort of blog..what do YOU do? Do you just write whatever you think about any topic at all? Are you PC in any way? Do you think of friends/family members reactions when you post?

Since this post is about nothing really...here's a cute picture of our baby for your enjoyment: Wait..it's over there on your left.

Have I told you already that I love Jesus?

2009-03-27T12:22:00.003-05:00

I don't know if I've discussed that before on here. It's no secret in my life, but I don't know if the whole online world (or the 3 of you reading this) know that about me. I wasn't always a believer, so if you already want to stop reading this, I understand.
For me, God has been a wonderful savior, best friend, and awesome leader. If it had not been for Him, I truly would not be here today. I grew up thinking God loved everyone but me, which, in my opinion, is a worse fate than not believing at all. Much of my life I felt rejected by many, especially God. Hey, maybe that's why I don't worry so much what people think of me now.
Anyway, I really just wanted to post this to give credit to my God for working in my life. We've gone through some major events the past couple years: pregnancy, miscarriage, pregnancy, birth of a child, Luis staying home, me returning to work, Luis switching schools, raising a baby, moving, dealing with things that should have been addressed years ago, etc. We've been extraordinarily blessed, even through tough times, and I attribute that to God. So, I kinda just wanted to "publicly" thank Him for it. I guess that's all. Carry on now. :)

Give me a simple answer, please.

2009-02-25T13:35:00.004-06:00

I love doing research. Before I was even engaged, I spent time planning my wedding- figuring out what I liked, what was cost effective, etc. When I got pregnant, oh, man, the hours I spent online and in books reading about various birth techniques, experiences, etc. I learned that I preferred to try to have a med free birth when before I got pregnant, I was saying I wanted an epidural before I left the house. I also read up on child rearing and vaccinations. I decided to do the Dr. Sears "alternative" vaccine schedule, which gets Kadence fully immunized, but at a slower pace. Since she's been born, I've spent countless hours reading up on, purchasing, and talking about cloth diapers because it's best for our family (cheaper) and the environment..not to mention, they're so stinkin' cute. After all the research I do, I feel more informed and able to make decisions (big or small) that are best for my family. Well, after accidentally learning (meaning, I wasn't doing research) more about vaccines, I am overwhelmed with information- conflicting information, and I cannot figure out what I think is best for Kadence. Most people generally believe that vaccines are safe and effective, and any potential side effect of the vaccine is not as bad as the disease, but is that true? I'm still trying to figure that out. Kadence has had a few vaccines already, and thank God, she has been fine, but will she suffer later on? How "immune" is she from the diseases or illnesses that she's vaccinated against? Some information I've read says that when there is an outbreak of a disease, say measles, more than half the people who catch it are fully vaccinated...so why should I risk her having a reaction to the vaccine if it may not even work? Oh, man, and I don't even want to get started on the ingredients- animal byproducts----some ingredients come from aborted babies!!!! Is it ethical to put these "ingredients" into my child if I am pro-life? I am only scratching the surface right now of the wealth of information out there. I will read pro and anti vaccine literature, and make the decision on which vaccines we will still get, and which ones we will forgo. I just really wish there was a simpler answer; Oh, wait, there is: "Stop reading up on stuff and trust your pediatrician." Sorry, that's not like me. Off to do more research!

What happened to my baby?

2009-02-15T21:57:00.003-06:00

My sweet little newborn baby..the one who loved being rocked to sleep and always wanted to nurse has been replaced. I have a "little big girl" now. She can hold her head up so well, that it's not an accomplishment anymore, it's just what she does. She learns things too. You know that thing where you say Ahhhhhhhhhhh, and pat your hand over your mouth? She can do that! Well, you have to pat your hand over her mouth, but she knows when you do that to say Ahhhhh. It's sooooooo cute. She also learned how to hit the buttons on her exersaucer to make the music come on. The fact that she's in her exersaucer is huge too! Since she turned 4 months old, she has just hit one milestone after the other. It's amazing to see her grow and develop and learn..right before our eyes. What else? Oh, she doesn't hate tummy time anymore. She holds herself up very well and just looks around and laughs. There's been one little drawback to her growing up though; she now knows when someone else is holding her, and she usually starts crying until her daddy or I take her back. That's not a good thing, but we secretly like it, hehe.

Everyone tells you how fast the time goes, and to cherish every moment. It's so true! We try our best to cherish this time, because I know that we are going to blink and she is going to be blogging about her child! Well, she'll be doing whatever they'll do 25 or so years from now to record her thoughts; blogging may be a thing of the past by then! Yikes!

Caffine high??

2009-01-22T16:30:00.002-06:00

I hardly ever have any caffine, and when I do, it's a sip of coke here and there or some chocolate. Today, however, I had a coke AND an excedrin for this awful headache I had. There was nothing else I could take. Now, my headache is gone and my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. I thought typing a blog would be good exercise for my brain, and maybe it will slow down when I'm done. If you ever need to take a typing test, have a red bull or something before, I'm typing MUCH faster than normal...I am, however, hitting backspace a lot to correct spelling mistakes. I remember typing in high school, you couldn't use backspace. I did okay, but quite often I'd print out papers thatl ooked likke this.. Haha. Yep, this is definitely a caffine high. I hope I don't crash when I'm home spending time with K. That would suck. It would be ideal if I would "come down" after she's asleep and I get a bath. I'm so embarrassed. I'm wearing a hoodie (a ski cap, whatever you call them) today becuase I fell asleep early last night and woke up late this morning, sooooooo, I didn't get to wash my hair!! Good thing it's somewhat cold outside. The weather here is crazy. Snowing one day, in the 70s less than a week later. Aaaaaaaaaand, I think I'm calmer now. My heartrate seems to be back to a normal level, and my typing has slowed down dramatically. Okay, then. I guess I'm done here. :)

First night out: FAIL

2009-01-10T21:30:00.000-06:00

Sooooo, I'm typing from my cell phone. I'm at the Celine Dion concert...alone. Well, I'm kind of alone. I came here with my 2 sisters in law. our seats were at the VERY top of the arena. I mean the very very top. On our way up the 20 million steps, I started feeling nervous. by the time we reached our seats, I was on my way to a full blown panic attack. at least I think that's what it was, I've never had one of those before. While I don't plan on skydiving, I've never been scared of heights. EVER. I have no idea why I am now. Is it my age? The baby? I mean, it was so irrational...I wasn't even scared of falling. I was just freaked out being up there. I was even scared to walk down the stairs. My SIL (sister in law) had to walk down in front of me, and I held onto the railing for dear life. Now, here I am alone, albeit with better seats than SILs. ha! But its no fun being...sing with me and Celine..."all by myself". The show itself has been more entertaining than I expected though. okay, its either over or intermission now. either way, I guess I should be done typing.

This suuuuuuuuuucks

2008-12-21T19:28:00.002-06:00

When I was pregnant, I developed gallstones. They were so painful, but thank God, I was able to modify my diet and avoid any problems...
until now. I'm glad I didn't have to have surgery when I was pregnant, but a few weeks ago, I started having attacks nearly every day. The pain was unbearable. I cried, threw up, begged God to take the pain away, and even considered removing my gallbladder with my bare hands. I met with a surgeon and had the procedure done a few days ago. I was so concerned with my mortality. I wrote a letter to my husband for "if I died", and I shed some tears over the possibility of not being here to see my daughter grow up. Obviously, I came through. It was a simple operation, I kind of knew I'd be okay, but having an infant at home really changes the way you handle things.

Anyway, the surgery went fine, but the next day I was bleeding more than I should've been. My great friend Valerie took me to the doctor. By the time I arrived, I looked as though I had been shot in the stomach..literally. Apparently, one of my incisions opened up. The arrogant jerk resident, also known as Dr. Roddenberry (however you spell that), attempted to fix me, while hurting me and being incredibly rude. Nice, huh. I get home, and wouldn't you know, two hours later I'm bleeding all over the place again!! I called the Dr.'s office to let them know the situation and that I was coming back in and did not want to see the resident again. The actual doctor who performed the surgery worked on my this time. I had to go into a minor operating room, and he numbed me really good (thank God!!), and went to work. He poked and prodded and tugged.. at one point, I smelled burning flesh from the cauterization. This time it stayed closed. Unfortunately, it's as if I had two operations in two days. I still feel really sore, hence the title of this blog. That is all. Just wanted to vent. Hopefully, my next entry will be much more chipper. Merry Christmas everyone (or anyone??).

Being a Mom

2008-10-29T17:54:00.002-05:00

I read this when I was pregnant, and I cried. I read this today, and I sobbed. It is so true.

Being A Mom

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking."Do you think I should have a baby?""It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral."I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations. But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.
She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his or hers.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would not now find very romantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice, and drunk driving. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Free time? What's that?

2008-10-23T18:21:00.002-05:00

I've been writing letters to my child since before she was born. I would just write her about my feelings for her, how we came up with her name, just random things. I haven't been able to write her since she's been born though, because I'm consumed with her. I love it, I love her, I love motherhood, however, I would like to just have a few minutes a day when I'm not caring for her, catching up on sleep or laundry, and other home/mom related things, to reflect. I'd like to reflect on how much she's changed me- how I'm not scared to tell anyone anything if it's in her best interest. I'd like to reflect on how much I love such a small person, and how I would do ANYTHING to protect her. I want her to know that I love her so much it hurts..literally. I've cried thinking about her growing up, getting married, leaving our home, and she's only 3 weeks old! My husband and I are so much closer now, thanks to her. I love seeing him with her. When I see how much he loves her, it makes me love him even more! God has blessed us so much by giving her to us. We are so thankful that she is happy, healthy, and beautiful! Praise God for this little miracle named Kadence. I am off to write her a letter- before she wakes up and stops me!! :)

Lo Hicimos....kind of

2008-10-06T13:43:00.003-05:00

I enjoyed reading birth stories so much, and I really wanted to document mine for later on, so be prepared...this is a long one. I kept track of what was going on and all the times. Enjoy!
I woke up at 6:15am on Thursday, October 2nd. Being so pregnant, I headed straight for the bathroom, only my pee beat me to the toilet..or so I thought. I figured this was the part of pregnancy no one talked about too much (except maybe on the nest). Then, stuff just kept on coming out...every time I moved or got up. I thought it could be my water leaking, but that happens so rarely, and I still had 3 weeks to go. When it didn't stop leaking, I figured I should call L&D. They said come in to get checked. I got permission to shower (thank GOD!!), and had Luis finish packing the bag. On our way there, Luis kept saying, "We're going to have a baby today!" and I kept saying, "I won't believe it until the doctor tells me. I think I'm just peeing on myself." to which he replied, "No one has that much pee!" Anyway, I digress..
At 8:30am, the doctor planned to do that test to see if it's your water or not, but she looked in there and said, "Yep, my friend, you're ruptured. I'm not even going to do the test." I still didn't believe it, by the way. They said I was 2cm and 60% effaced and that they'd admit me and start pitocin. Since I planned on natural birth, I asked if we could have a couple hours to see if things would pick up on their own. They agreed, which was great. I couldn't walk around much (due to risk of cord prolapse they said), but I was free to just labor on my own. Luis was attempting this acupressure stuff I printed out. I was checked again at 11:30am, and I progressed to 3cm, 70%, but the baby was still really high and the docs wanted to start pitocin. I agreed to the lowest setting (1), and they said they'd check me in 2 hours. At 1:30 I was almost 4cm, baby still high, pitocin level going up a bit. Every hour or so, they increased the pitocin by one or two, and the contractions started getting more intense. I was able to talk through them all afternoon though. 5:30 I got checked again- 5cm, baby still high, more pitocin..more frequent (but still bearable) contractions. Around 8:00, I'd say I was really in "active" labor. This would've been when I went to the hospital had my water not broken. Still though, as of my last check at 8:30, I was only 5cm and the baby hadn't moved down much. I started to see my birth plan unravel, but I knew it would be okay, and that the baby's health was most important. They increased the pitocin, but I don't remember what number it was. I had to breathe through all the contractions now, which were about 2-3 minutes apart. My husband and the nurse, Celeste, were absolutely WONDERFUL. I wouldn't have made it through without them. I was supposed to get checked between 10 and 10:30 for progress and to see what was next, since it had been so long since my water broke.
Well, at 9:15 or so, I wanted to give up. Luis said to wait until they checked me. I agreed....then 9;45 rolled around and I said, "I can't do it anymore. I am tired, I need a break, I want the epidural. I can't do this all night" The contractions were 1-2 minutes apart and sometimes they "coupled", (one contraction on top of the other). The anesthesiologist came right in, and I asked him for the lowest amount of meds he could give me. He said okay and we'd adjust it as needed. He seemed convinced I'd be asking for more medicine soon after. By 10:05 the epi was in place. I could still feel my contractions, but they were like my 5:30 contractions. She (Celeste) said I'd get a catheter in about 30 minutes once the epi really kicked in and I was more numb..at this point I could still feel my legs and all. I never did get that catheter. Here's the crazy part...
10:20...major urge to push. I told the nurses (I probably sounded like Satan) "I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUSH!!" The nurses told me not to push because I needed a doctor to deliver the baby, I told them- "Get a doctor because I'm pushing!!!!" Apparently, I was fully dilated and ready. Well, the epi did NOT have time to kick in fully, and I felt everything...except the full strength of the contractions. I could feel the pushing, and at one point I screamed this bloodcurdling scream that I didn't even recognize- the doctor said, "That's the ring of fire! You're almost done." I pushed for a total of 20 minutes and at 10:40pm, she was born. It was amazing. I'm so glad I could still feel everything, even though it hurt. I couldn't really see what was going on, but Luis said the cord was wrapped around her neck 3 times and she swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid. They had to do something (I was busy getting my 2nd degree tear stitched to see) to clear out her stomach and she had a little trouble breathing. They took her to be monitored, and everything was fine after a bit, thank God. She's perfect. She weighed 6lbs 15oz (my exact birth weight) and is 19 inches long.
I couldn't be happier with the way the birth went. While I did end up with the epidural, I still felt every single inch of her being born. I also wonder if I was that far along when I got the epi, or if that is what helped her come so fast? Either way, I'm elated with motherhood. Nursing is hard work, but totally worth it. I don't know what else I can say. Praise God for our little blessing, Kadence Evelyn.

What's wrong with her? Why is she doing THAT?

2008-09-29T12:58:00.002-05:00

Natural childbirth, that is. I've heard from countless people who find out my desire to have this baby without drugs that I'm crazy and what is wrong with me. Some have said it straight to my face, while others are kind enough to say those things behind my back. Well, here's my answer.
1. I'm doing it for the baby. The baby will have the best chance of being born safely, quickly, and alert if I do not get an epidural. That is the number one reason I am going to attempt a med-free birth.
2. I'm doing it for me. I'm not super athletic or super smart, I'm a pretty average girl. I'm happy with that. I've never accomplished any big goal I've set for myself. I've never run a marathon, climbed a mountain, won an outstanding award...nothing like that. For me, this IS my marathon. This is something I desire to do...blood, sweat, tears, and all. I have a goal set before me, and I will do everything I can to acheive it.
3. I'm doing it for all of you who think I can't. Is that petty or selfish? I don't care. I almost want to send a big fat SCREW YOU letter to those who doubt me.

If, for some reason, I am unable to complete this task, I will be fine with that. My most important goal is a healthy mom and healthy baby. I will be flexible during labor, but unless medically necessary for the health of me or my child, I'm not abandoning my goal. The end.

OMFreakingG!

2008-09-16T15:27:00.003-05:00

Baby C is HUGE! According to their measurments, I'm measuring at 37 weeks! I'm barely 35 weeks though. The weight is like 6 and a half pounds or a little more. Everything was measuring bigger. They said he/she was in the 86th percentile for where we are...anything between 10 and 90% and they don't change the due date, but over 90 and they do. I'm pretty darn close to having my due date moved up. Honestly, I never pictured Luis and I having a large baby.. at all. I mean, I was 6lbs 15oz at birth, and I know Luis was smaller too. But, my dad is 6'3" or so, and Luis' uncles are all kinda big guys..not huge, but kinda big. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I highly doubt I'll go past my due date. The doctor wants me to come back in 4 weeks for another ultrasound "IF I havent' delivered" and she emphasized "if". 4 weeks is October 14th...that's a week earlier than my original due date, and the u/s doc doesn't really think I'll make it that far! More cool news: we got a 3D ultrasound at the end! Luis told the u/s doc that she said we could get one last time. She's like, "Oh, I did..okay..Jennifer, get it hooked up and do it when I'm done." The thing is, she didn't say that! Luis was half kidding around with her, but when she said do it, we weren't arguing..neither was the tech. She wanted to do one, but she hardly ever gets to. Luis told her the truth and she laughed! I really enjoyed seeing the baby like that. We only got to see it's face, but it was such a perfect little face with chubby cheeks! I'm so in love.

Everything's fine

2008-09-16T15:24:00.002-05:00

I hope I didn't keep all (two or three) of you in suspense for too long. Our little house survived the hurricane. Actually, everything around us did. It wasn't nearly as bad as they thought it would be. We lost power for a week, so we stayed in Dallas longer than we expected, but we had a great time. I loved catching up with family and friends there. We also got to have cupcakes from "Sprinkles", you know, the place they have in Los Angeles. According to Julianna (a friend from Dallas), "Dallas thinks it's LA." Haha.
Anyway, I have some baby updates, but I wanted to do this post first.

Evac-ation?

2008-08-30T19:13:00.002-05:00

So, I'm writing from Dallas. We left town yesterday, ahead of all the crowds to evacuate to our relatives place in Texas. We have no idea what's going to happen, if anything, to our home and city. The reports have changed with each update. For now, hurricane Gustav is headed just west of New Orleans, and is expected to make landfall early Monday as a strong Category 3, possibly a 4. Just to put in in perspective, Katrina hit 100 or so miles east of New Orleans as a Category 3. When the eye lands to the west of you, you are on the "bad" side of the hurricane. There could be much more rainfall than there was for Katrina..and look what she did!
We are already planning our future here in Dallas. Our little house flooded somewhat for Katrina, and it flooded just 2 months ago, from a fluke rainstorm (and from the city not turning the pumps on when they should've). In fact, we just got everything put back to normal from that..literally 2 weeks ago. *Sigh*

I'm sad about the prospect of leaving our home yet again, but I'm also optimistic about our possible future here. Only time will tell where our fate lies.

Many of our family members and friends were concerned about the brand new baby furniture my in-laws just purchased for us. Honestly, at first, so was I. I mean, we JUST got it and now we might lose it. After seeing the latest update though, all I'm concerned about is the safety and well being for all those who are staying behind. Maybe it's nothing, but maybe it's going to be devastating. I sure didn't want to stick around to find out.

99 Days to go!

2008-07-15T09:19:00.002-05:00

I am in shock. According to my pregnancy tickers, there are allegedly 99 days until we meet our little one. I cannot believe this day is here. I never thought I'd be "this" pregnant. It's a wonderful, scary feeling. With each passing day, I love this child more and more. Everything I've endured to get to this point is well worth it. I will be checking on my ticker on thenest.com throughout the day, amazed that under MY name it says: 99 days to go. That's all. Just had to share.

Saturday night

2008-07-06T01:53:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday night, and I'm home alone. My husband had to go help out a friend with a broken down car. I'm happy he's such a great guy and willing to lend a hand, but I'm really tired. I can't sleep now though. So, here I am again. Not much to say. I haven't really gotten into a groove with this blogging thing yet. Sooooo, here's a list of random facts about me:
I only chew 1/2 pieces of gum at a time.
I get a fever before I get on a plane (no idea why).
I believe in Jesus with my whole heart.
My best friend (aside from Luis) lives in North Carolina.
I can fight with Escrima sticks.
I don't have a "style" of dress...I just wear what I like; sometimes it's preppy, trendy, bummy, cute...it all depends on my mood.
I am the middle child.
I love Havarti cheese and Kashi crackers.
I watch Sabrina, the teenage witch.
I lose sunglasses all the time.

The end. :)

Well, Hello

2008-07-03T12:07:00.000-05:00

Who's going to read this? Who cares. I'm just bored out of my mind today, and decided this would help pass the time. Sometimes, I have things to say...today, not so much. I'll just "introduce" myself to the online world. I'm Myndee. I'm 27...wait, 28 years old. Currently, my husband, Luis and I are expecting our first child. I work for a university and love what I do. Luis and I both enjoy photography, but he'll be making it a full time job soon. For me, it will be a "paid hobby".

Our life is pretty simple and boring..though we do have our drama filled days. I'll save those for another time though.

This pregnancy has been rather difficult on my body. I am grateful to be pregnant. My first pregnancy ended in a loss, so trust me, I'm extremely thankful for every day I spend with this child. However, it has been hard. I will be complaining about things from time to time, but I'm always thankful and blessed to be pregnant.

Okay, enough for now.